The Art of Trolling

As a player who appreciates teamwork and a gentlemanly attitude (you too ladies) from fellow players, trolls are pretty much my least favorite gamers to encounter. They are the bane of the online multiplayer world, and I suspect we will never be rid of them.

As a general rule, I try not to get ragey during these encounters. Instead I choose one of several viable responses. A) correct all spelling and grammatical mistakes, B) troll back, or my favorite, C) nice them to death. While not the simplest of tasks, politeness can hopefully lead to improved play. At the least, it generally ticks of the troll since they are not accomplishing what they set out to do.

Last night, however, I was unable to employ any of these options, and simply gawked in awe as every troll-esque action that could happen, did.

Thus I present to you, lovely readers, the Art of Trolling, as shown by my most recent game of League of Legends:

Step 1:
During choosing phase, do not call a lane, do not communicate with team. On third pick, choose Karthus, even though mid has been picked and the only lane not called is Top. When teammates question choice, do not respond.

Step 2:
Enter game. Do not go to the one open lane. Instead go the bot lane, which has a viable duo team. Do not leave lane when asked. Force support to top lane.

Step 3:
Hug tower and be mostly unhelpful.

Step 4:
Finally engage in communication, but only blame teammates for why the game is going poorly.

Step 5:
Spend majority of game at base or sitting between towers AFK. Occasionally ping the jungle incessantly to drive teammates insane.

Step 6:
End game with zero kills and few assists. Blame teammates for losing and being terrible. Flame your heart out.   Accept no blame. Talk about teammates’ mom.

Step 7:
Mission accomplished; you ruined somebody’s night.

To be fair, trolls are not always all bad. Sometimes they are hilarious. Occasionally they carry. If they aren’t doing it in ranked games, I could care less. But the above case has already ruined my first series since returning from my long hiatus as well as ruined what was an otherwise lovely evening. I could care less that you think it is fun to troll. Go play normals, because nobody cares about those.

Last but not least, maybe you could just act like a decent human being? I’m sorry you have issues and nothing better to do, but don’t take it out on me and my team.  Kthxbai.

Clawing my way up the ladder

Disclaimer: Before it comes up, I wholly understand that one player does not win or lose a game. As a team, we could have adapted better and potentially pushed back. It is not the loss of the game I am complaining about, but the attitude of the player. Even a lost game doesn’t have to leave you miserable at the end.